Age 4: Accidentally killed my fish while trying to give it a bath.

Age 11: Went out with Jason Velasquez for 2 weeks withouth ever speaking to him.

Age 15: Loved tye-dye. Wrote my first song entitled "Gonna Get Away", a brilliant little ditty fully of teenage angst.

Age 18: Dated a pizza delivery man. Took a class titled "Primate Behavior" where I got to go to the zoo and study the mama and baby orangutans. The class is mistakenly listed on my college records as "Private Behavior".

Age 21: Drove around in a '74 orange VW bug that my sister named "The Beast".

Age 25: Winter of my discontent in Vermont. Got fat eating maple stickybuns and working an office job.

Age 28: Sat at a computer in Austin Texas and typed some statistics for my first website. Have been reading "Skywriting By Word of Mouth" by John Lennon, and "Pure Drivel" by Steve Martin.